'you are a-number-one rambo, sir. number one rambo.'

that’s a new one, i thought to myself while brushing white saharan dust off my hands onto my pants. the past few years have yielded a few choice gems by way of enthusiastic complimentary statements issued by excited locals. to date, however, the 'stallone' category had yet to be created.

10 points, egpyt.

admittedly, i was perplexed, and began the walk back to the car from the sphinx, past the pyramids, and through a cavalry of camel-jockeys (seriously) trying to figure out exactly why rambo was invoked. did rambo ever do an handstand in the middle of a desert? i don't  think so. at any point did rambo wear a white 'chit happens' buddha tshirt while juggling small german women around on his hands and feet? nope. does rambo wear glasses?

it had to have been the camouflage shorts. yeah, and the long hair. that's it.

thankfully, or should i say 'as timing would have it', i would not spend much time thinking about rambo because moments later a man on a donkey selling hand-carved sheba cats issued an equally rare gem...

'aaaah, very nice. look at hogan over there walking with two beautiful women. hogan is very strong man, very lucky man.'

rambo was quickly shuffled off onto the backburner as i debated whether he meant 'hulk' or 'paul' as the suffix to hogan. which catchphrase best compliments my style?

hulk-- 'train, say your prayers, and eat your vitamins! be true to yourself, true to your country, be a real american!'

paul-- 'that's not a knife... THAT's a knife!'

...

egypt is a beautiful country in many respects, and quite deserving of the storied majesty it's history easily evokes. this time around, i only had a chance to see the slack gaze of pillow-soft resort life overlooking the red sea in ain el souknha, followed by 48 hour hectic blink of cairo's metropolitan sprawl.

ain el souknha: beach. sun. crystal clear water. yoga. snore.

cairo: 22. million. people.

guess which one i liked more?

it's a big city, cario is. it felt like the biggest one i've been in yet. one really gets that 'raindrop in an ocean' feeling of hourglass flow, an integral part of an organism living, breathing, driving, expanding, alive. cleaner than mumbai, more spread out than istanbul, as 24 hour as nyc used to be. this is no cityscape to jaunt through. its quixotic curves and voluminous structure begs one to meander, to relax into a state of ready awareness. the traffic is a blend of ho chi min's volume and india's acceptance where 8 lane highways can instantly surge to 11 or 12, and at any given time pedestrians will dart across them with little more than three raised fingers for protection from an 80kph traffic swam.

my mother would hate driving here. my father would excel.

it's hot. dry hot. blazing hot, making multiple shady chai and shisha breaks necessary and welcome. cairo is a muslim city, so five times a day sallah echo out across the vibrant expanse. many people stop. many don't. one hand opens while the other closes. nothing is dropped. pace. pattern. peaceful chaos. organization on autopilot.

when we made it to khan kalili, the bazaar district, two more men called me rambo. i wasn't even doing a handstand.

'you are rambo. sir. rambo look in my shop.'

why am i rambo?

'you are big rambo. tell me how i can take your money.'

dinner and a movie?

'i make shooting and kill you. haHA!! rambo, big man come look my shop.'

i'm going to leave now.

(what a perfect time to have my paul hogan knife)

everything in this bizarre bazaar was authentic, even the fake rolexes and jewelery. i learned that in egypt, the way to prove that something is real (super quality! this is real! i make no lies.) is to take a lighter to it. if it doesn't go up in flames or turn black, it is therefore real and i should make no hesitation in purchasing it at the original quoted price. pashmina shawls, silver necklaces, hand-tooled leather wallets.

i breathed a deep sigh of contentment. hagglemonsters, your fierce bargaining skills cannot defeat me.

here i sit in the cairo airport, preparing to enter the final leg of a two year adventure. tonight dubai. two weeks later, on october 26th, 2009, i return to NYC with full intention to settle down. target base of operations: south beach, miami.

stay tuned for more on that later.

in flight,

.s.